JCSLK #57 Jesus On the Road To Jerusalem 2 Teaching On Marriage Mat 19

 

JCSLK #57 Jesus On the Road To Jerusalem

2 Teaching On Marriage Mat 19

 Introduction

An east Texas red-neck from way out in the boonies drove into town from his farm and walked into an attorney's office wanting to file for a divorce.

The attorney asked, "May I help you?" The farmer said, "Yeah, I want to get one of them dayvorces." The attorney said, "Well do you have any grounds?" The farmer said, "Yeah, I got about 140 acres." The attorney said, "No, you don't understand, do you have a case?" The farmer said, "No, I don't have a Case, but I have a John Deere." The attorney said, "No, you don't understand, I mean do you have a grudge?" The farmer said, "Yeah, I got a grudge, that's where I park my John Deere." The attorney said, "No sir, I mean do you have a suit?" The farmer said, "Yes, sir, I got a suit, I wear it to church on Sundays." The exasperated attorney said, "Well, sir, does your wife beat you up or anything?" The farmer said, "No sir, we both get up about 4:30." Finally, the attorney said, "Okay, let me put it this way: why do you want a divorce?" The farmer replied, "Well that’s easy, that fool woman keeps saying she can’t understand a word that comes out of my mouth.”

We can tell a joke about a fictitious east Texas divorce but in life, divorce is harsh, bitter and never leaves a family without deep, painful scars, especially to the children caught up in a divorce.

 Marriage Is In Trouble

In 2024 there were 2,390,482 marriages and 986,810 divorces in the last year. This represents a marriage-divorce ratio of 2.42. That ratio has remained stable from 2015 through 2021 ranging from 2.10 to 2.16. Which means that approximately two marriages every year for every one divorce. This doesn’t count the marriages that hold together year after year, it doesn’t mean for every 2 married people there will be a divorce it only count new marriages and divorces not marriages that go on year after year after year.

But marriage is in trouble and it’s not just divorces that should concern us. The proportion of people who are getting married at all is going down every year. In 1920, shortly after the First World War, there were 12 marriages annually for every 1,000 people in the US. The highest marriage rate for the US was back in 1945 when almost 17 people of 1000 were married. The rate when many of us were born or growing up in the1960s and early 70s was as high as 10 people married for every 1000. Then began a long decline of family and marriages in the 1970s. Since 1972, marriage rates in the US have fallen significantly to as low as 5 people out of 100 in 2020, Currently we are still at that lowest point in recorded history last year the rate was only 6.5 per 1000.

If that isn’t enough bad news then consider this. Households today that have two parents is also at the lowest ever recorded in US history. In 1948 79% of households had a mom and a dad. Today that percentage is 47%. Which means that if you live in a home with both parents then you are a minority. That’s good for you and your kids, but very bad for our society and nation.

With so much depending on the family, on marriage it is vital that we know what the Bible teaches and today we have the best teacher in all of history, no not me, silly, Jesus. Turn to Matthew 19

The Trip - Matthew 19:1-2

And it came to pass, that when Jesus had finished these sayings, he departed from Galilee, and came into the coasts of Judaea beyond Jordan; 2 And great multitudes followed him; and he healed them there.

 Teaching and Healing On The Road

 Here in Matthew, there is a time gap, between chapter 18 and chapter 19.  Luke where we have been and John fill in that gap. Luke records the sending of the Seventy in Luke 10:1-16;  Jesus going to the feast of Tabernacles, in  John 7:2-10; the healing of the ten lepers is in Luke 17:11-19; the teaching of Jesus at the feast of Tabernacles is in John 7:11-53; the woman taken in adultery John 8:1; the debate with the unbelieving Jews, and their trying to stone Jesus when he claimed the title I AM, the name of God in John 8:12-59; the question of the lawyer about inheriting eternal life, and the parable of the good Samaritan Luke 10:28-37; the dinner at the house of Martha and Mary Luke 10:38-42; the return of the seventy Luke 10:17-24; the healing of the blind man on the Sabbath John 9:1-41; attending the Dedication John 10:22-42; the raising of Lazarus John 11:1-46; and the counsel of Caiaphas against Jesus, and the final departure from Jerusalem until the next Passover in John 11:47-54.

Jesus goes to a village called Ephraim and when the time comes, He begins his journey back toward Jerusalem for Passover. It will be a long road and Jesus moves along the borders of Galilee and Samaria, away from the main cities and traveling with the pilgrims on their way to Jerusalem for Passover, when by the law all males must be present in Jerusalem. As he travels he does two things, He teaches and he heals. He teaches everyone who will listen and He heals everyone who is sick, possessed, blind or crippled. No one who came to Jesus needing healing, ever walked away from Jesus without finding the healing he needed. Don’t let anyone tell you differently, what goes on today is nothing but charlatanism and pure lies. And if the preachers who are performing these vile acts of false hope don’t know they are fakes, then they are lunatics and even more damaging to the cause of Christ today.  

Jesus is traveling, teaching and healing and he is also debating the Pharisees who are either traveling with the Pilgrims or are lying in wait like serpents beside the path, coiled and ready to strike as Jesus passes by. That strike takes place in vs. 3

The Trap – Matthew 19:3-5

3 The Pharisees also came unto him, tempting him, and saying unto him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause? 4 And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female, 5 And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? 6 Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.

 The Marriage Question

The Pharisees have grown ever more sophisticated in their strikes at Jesus. They truly hate Him, because He has exposed their hypocrisy and will not join himself to their self-righteous, self-praise. BTW if you ever wondered what became of the Pharisees its pretty obvious they took over Judaism. The Jewish faith that is practiced today that we would recognize as Judaism has been completely controlled and shaped by the Pharisaism of the past. It is most obvious in the ultra-orthodox and Hassidic but all of the practice has been tainted if not totally corrupted by the Pharisaism that Jesus is fighting during His earthly ministry.  

Here is why the pharisees knew they had a question they could trap Jesus with.

The Controversy. Now marriage is often controversial but specifically among the Pharisees and their great teachers there was a very divisive marriage issue, thought it was really about divorce not marriage.

In the past there had been two schools of thought, two teachings about marriage and divorce. In the school of Shammai divorce was allowed but only in the case of adultery. On the other hand was the school of Hillel. Brother Hillel was the reason they created the word patriarchy. Hillel said that a man could divorce his wife for any reason. Suppr not on the table when he got home, divorce. Didn’t do the laundry, divorce. Didn’t keep quiet during a movie, divorce. Didn’t quit talking about that guy your mom wanted you to marry, divorce. But in most cases it was simply a reason for a trade in, See a newer, younger, pretty model, then divorce. Can you guess which one was more popular? Yes, that right the “you scrambled the wrong one” divorce side.

The Jewish historian Josephus, who divorced his own wife, wrote "He who for any reason whatsoever (and many such causes happen to men) wishes to be separated from a wife who lives with him, must give it to her in writing that he will cohabit with her no longer, and by this means she shall have liberty to marry another man; but before this is done it is not permitted her to do so" ('Ant.,' 4:08, 23).

Another teacher during this time named Ben-Sira gives this guidance, "If she go not as thou wouldest have her, cut her off from thy flesh,... and let her go"

The arguments between these two ideas was fierce and ongoing. The pharisees believed if they could pull Jesus into it they could use it to claim he wasn’t the Messiah and just another false prophet.

If Jesus took the popular view, they could say he wasn’t a teacher of morality and holiness but if he upheld the stricter side, he would upset of the majority of the people, and perhaps, like John the Baptist, come under the persecution of Herod, through whose jurisdiction Jesus was now passing. I told you those Pharisees were smart in their hatred.

Now Jesus has already taught on marriage twice before in the Sermon on the Mount, Matthew 5:31-32 - It hath been said, Whosoever shall put away his wife, let him give her a writing of divorcement: 32 But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.

Jesus taught that marriage is for life, not to last only as long as people seem to take pleasure in each other. “I just don’t love him anymore.”

The bond of marriage once tied can be dissolved scripturally only by the grave or by a grave sexual sin. Also remember, sexual sin is not an automatic divorce, neither Jesus nor Moses ever said something that hard.

This is simple enough, marriage should be for life, enough debating it or questioning it, just go out and live it. But life is seldom that simple is it. Sin complicates and corrupts everything it touches, and it touches everything including the sacred bond of marriage.

When Jesus as asked on the road to Jerusalem to deal with this question, he didn’t quote Hillel or Shammai, no he quoted Himself from the book of Genesis. Now that is real authority.

Matthew 19:4-6 Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female, 5 And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? 6 Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.

First Jesus shows his contempt for the Pharisees and their reputed knowledge of the Bible. A pharisee had to be able to quote from memory the entire Torah, the first 5 books of the Bible! Sure didn’t impress Jesus though. His response is “Have you even read what it actually says?” At least that’s the way we would have said it today. “What’s wrong with you? Don’t you know how to read? Use your brain, not just your eyes!”

Jesus knew the definition of marriage because Jesus in the Garden performed the first marriage ceremony between Adam and Eve. It was His institution upon which all of human society would be built.

A man shall leave his family, be joined to his wife forming a new separate family and they shall be “one flesh.” In Hebrew thought one flesh represents the entire person, and the unity of marriage covers the whole nature of man, body, soul and spirit, the physical, the mental and the emotional. It is a unity of soul and the heart as well as of body.

This is our goal in marriage, this is what why we make vows, this is God’s ideal. It is what He intended.

 The Marriage Quest

For every child of God who marries another child of God this is the marriage path we must plan for and then faithfully walk in every day. To the Pharisees this was a question to trap Jesus, to us it is a quest that we strive to fulfill for all our days on earth.

How important is it? Paul put it this way in Ephesians 5:31-32 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. 32 This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church.

Marriage is sacred, so vital, so foundational to human society and the church’s wellbeing tha Paul could only compare it to Christ and His bride, the church. That is how sacred it is to Jesus and how we as Christians should see it. Marriage is sacred.  

 Transition

We already said that sin corrupts everything it touches and it touches everything. That includes the sacred institution of marriage. True today, true in Jesus day, true in Moses day when the law was given and that is what the Pharisees now gleefully throw in the face of Jesus.

The Truth – Matthew 19:7-9

 7 They say unto him, Why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement, and to put her away? 8 He saith unto them, -- Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so. 9 And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.

 The Harsh Reality

They ask then why did Moses give a command for a writ of divorcment? They want to set Moses the great lawgiver again Jesus the great law interpreter. If He disagrees with Moses then He isn’t keeping the law at all.

First Jesus tells them, don’t blame this on Moses, it was due to people just like you that Moses did this. In Deuteronomy 24:1–5, where a “bill of divorcement” was allowed not commanded. Moses did not command divorce, he permitted divorce because of sin. Why would he do such a thing? Actually, it was to protect the Hebrew woman. By being forced to give a formal written divorcement, this stopped a verbal divorce or even just being kicked out of a man’s home. This bill of divorce meant that she could remarry. She had legal standing as poor as it was, it was much better than in other societies at that time. Where a woman could just be thrown to the curb. It also meant the woman couldn’t be remarried to the same man, this stopped women from being turned into temporary harlots, moving from one man to another and then back again at the will of the men who would treat them like cattle.

Jesus said marriage in God’s plan is for life, but it can be broken by fornication. Now what did He mean when He used this world. In the Greek it is porneia, the word we get porn and pornography from. It meant “sexual sins.” Sometimes we limited fornication to premarital sex only, but here it includes all types of sexual sin: adultery, homosexuality, bestiality, etc.

Our Lord’s teaching is that there is only one scriptural basis for divorce, and that is sexual sin. If two people are divorced on any other basis, and marry other mates, they are committing adultery. That is what Jesus said. Once again simply to understand but hard to live in this sex fueled world of sin.

 The Hard Reality Today

I doubt that there is anyone in church today that has not be affected by divorce. We have experience first hand, we have gone through it as children, our children, our grandchildren our brothers our sister have all gone through the pain of divorce.

Yet Jesus said marriage is for life and it should be for life, but sometime, many times, life doesn’t fit the ideal. So happens then? What happens now?

Should a Christian never marry in the first place or if divocrced never remarry? I’ve heard that preached and taught in churches as I was growing up. Hard to hear when you are a child of divorce and seeing the struggle your Mom went through and how hard it was for her a single Mom. She divorced my dad due to his alcoholism, but he never cheated on her with another woman. But for the protection of her kids she had to break that marriage. She remarried also to care for her kids, did that mean she was an adulteress for the rest of her life? Some would teach exactly that. That is a hard thing to hear as a child.

Jesus said, in Matthew 19:9 Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.

He is answering the question of the Pharisees, Can a man divorce his wife for any reason?”  Jesus say that makes everyone an adulterer. That idea is wrong, it is sinful. He is saying you would make all men and women adulterous if that was allowed.

Where does that leave the rest? Folks like my mom or like some pastors I know whose wives just left them because they did not want to be “a preacher’s wife?”

This is where we come to this wonderful, incredible aspect of God’s love called forgiveness. What do we do when we sin, or fail or give up? We go to the Lord and we ask for forgiveness. Here is what the Bible says.

1John 1:9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

Is a failed marriage sin? Of course it is, so take it to the Lord, find forgiveness and then go on with life. To believe that every remarried person is sinning everyday of their married life means there is not escape from sin, no forgiveness of sin, no renewal from sin. It means not only would divorce somehow became the unforgiveable sin but it would be mean all sin would be unforgiveable and that any sin after salvation would mean I could never sin in anything, else forgiveness in not forgiveness. It applies to every other sin but not a failed marriage.

Imagine trying to tell David that he could not be forgiven his sin with Bathsheba. David knew and depended on the love and forgiveness of God. Last week we cited Psalms 51. I want to got back there now for the second half of that great confessional Psalms.

Listen to how David pleads for and believes in the forgiveness of God. Psalms 51:8-17 Make me to hear joy and gladness; that the bones which thou hast broken may rejoice. 9 Hide thy face from my sins, and blot out all mine iniquities.  10 Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me.  11 Cast me not away from thy presence; and take not thy holy spirit from me.  12 Restore unto me the joy of thy salvation; and uphold me with thy free spirit. 13 Then will I teach transgressors thy ways; and sinners shall be converted unto thee. 14 Deliver me from bloodguiltiness, O God, thou God of my salvation: and my tongue shall sing aloud of thy righteousness.  15 O Lord, open thou my lips; and my mouth shall shew forth thy praise. 16 For thou desirest not sacrifice; else would I give it: thou delightest not in burnt offering.  17 The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit: a broken and a contrite heart, O God, thou wilt not despise.

Conclusion

 Marriage should be built upon the Lord’s ideal

 One man, one woman, for all of one’s life.

So, Plan to be married for all your life, till death do you part. Pray for God to strengthen and protect your marriage. Prepare with Him for the hard days and praise Him for the wonderful days.

If, however, it all falls apart then rebuild you life, your family and your marriage on the forgiveness of God. He will always forgive and draw you close in His love.